Recently, a story about a father's punishment for his son made national news. The father, Jose Lagares made his young son put on a sign with the words, "I am a bully. Honk if you hate bullies." The boy is in fourth grade, so he is very young. According to the father, his son was a repeat offender as a bully at school.
“Maybe he understands that when he humiliates someone publicly that doesn't feel good. Hopefully he'll take that with him so the next time he tries to bully someone he'll think about it twice," said the father. Lagares was trying to teach his son a lesson about how wrong bullying is, and how much it hurts to be on the victim of it.
I can understand why Jose Lagares did this. His son is very young and impressionable. If he can correct his son’s bad behavior now, it will probably stick with him the rest of his life. The punishment was tough, but ultimately out of love.
On the other hand, I can see how this is out of line. The bullying that Lagares’ son did at school could not have been nearly as scary or public as what he had to go through. The kid is only in fourth grade, and in my opinion, probably needs mercy and a light punishment more than an extreme punishment like this.
I’m only in high school, so I obviously have no experience or training as a parent, but I really don’t think it was the right thing to do to publicly humiliate his son in that manner. He’s in fourth grade! I don’t think bullying should be fought with more bullying. Be more gracious and soft on him if that’s what you want him to be like to others.
Maybe the young boy will learn something that will change him positively for the rest of his life. Maybe he will just go back to his old ways. I don’t know.
Watch the video and read more about it here.
Comment below if you want to weigh in with your opinion.
6 comments:
That child should definitely be told from an early age that bullying is wrong but through his father bullying him, he is setting a bad example. I'm no parenting expert but there must be another way to discipline a child.
JJ, I think this is a brilliant way of punishing your child. What other way to tap into this child's brain, then to put him in the victims shoes. Any bully who can feel the embarrassment and lack of self worth their victims feel would stop. Bullies pick on kids in order to feel like they have power over someone else, typically because someone has power over them. By having to wear a sign that says "I'm a bully, honk if you hate bullies" you are not physically or mentally abusing your child, in fact quite the opposite. You are teaching a valuable lesson of treating people the way you want to be treated.
I completely agree with Jack. If I were that parent I would be proud of myself. In 4th grade, I am sure this lesson will stick so hopefully he will not continue to bully kids at his school. The one thing that wasn't good though was all of the publicity. I think it might have been better if only the father and his son knew about it. This way, Jose Logares' son will be tagged as a bully not just in his school, but nationwide. However, it is still good to see parents taking action when they see acts of bullying, even if their child is the one doing these acts.
I'm going to side with Shannon on this one. I think the father is wrong to attempt to teach his son a lesson about bullying by using more bullying. This seems contradictory and will only send the wrong message to the kid. The child is only in fourth grade, whatever age that is, and is too young to be put through that traumatic experience, even if he was mean to a few kids. Forcing a kid to try to see his wrong doings will not work, I think the child must come to this on his own terms. Also, what happens if the plan completely backfires and the kid is just enraged by what his father has put him through? He will probably bully even more people out of anger. JJ I think you are right in saying that parents need to be gracious and act the way they want their kids to act. Bullying them is not the answer.
This topic has serious arguments for both sides. Jack, I would argue that to some extent the father is mentally abusing his child. That kid is going to feel emberrassed and ashamed and maybe even scared for the whole day. It's like a dream where you show up to school without your pants on and you feel like an idiot. In response to what Colin said, I don't think that I would be proud of myself at all. I would be saddened by the fact that my son had been bullying kids and feel sad that he had to be put through the emberrassment of being labeled a bully. Probably for the rest of his time at that school he will be known as a bully. How can anyone be expected to change when everyone you know has decided you are a bully and nothing more? Also, no one has brought up why the kid might be bullying other kids in the first place. Often times, bullies have something going on in their life that they don't know how to deal with, so to cope they take it out on other kids. If I was his parent I'd start trying to figure out what was causing him to bully other kids and think about another way of going about instilling some morals in him that didn't condemn him to the label, "bully" for the rest of his time at school, and now due to the news, maybe into his adult life as well.
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